Can the stars tell you what ChatGPT’s Bitcoin price predictions couldn’t?

ambcrypto.com:

Disclaimer: The astrological price predictions presented in this article are as reliable as a horoscope written by a cat. If you take any of this advice seriously, you might as well consult a Magic 8-Ball or a fortune cookie. Don’t blame the stars if you lose your pants in the crypto-market.

I hesitated, my finger hovering over the “buy” button. Should I really pay $37.95 to an astrologer who claimed to pick the best cryptocurrencies based on planetary positions? It sounded absurd, but then again, so did investing in digital tokens. In the end, I decided to trust my own research. Who needs the stars when you have Google and TradingView?

My subconscious mind must have had too much coffee because it decided to come up with an unnecessary poem at that very moment. I mean, seriously, who needs a poem to understand the ups and downs of the crypto-market? It’s like using a fork to eat soup – It just doesn’t make sense. Anyways, say ‘yada yada yada,’ looking at this piece of art and move on to the next paragraph.

Bitcoin blasted beyond $29k, Bringing glee to those who love to play. The tech analysts and crypto critics knew, But who else was happy? The astrologers, too!

Their charts and graphs may seem bizarre, Based on the stars and celestial bazaar. Yet in the world of finance and funds, Their predictions sparkle like shooting suns.

So, let’s not snicker at their cosmic arts, For in this market, they play a part. And as Bitcoin ascends to the skies, We’ll see if their stargazing really flies.

You might have known technical and fundamental analyses to predict the market’s next move. But, you see, there are so many cases when these predictions fall flat. Well, that’s exactly where astrological analyses can help. Said exactly one