These two ornaments are distinctly sexual, but kudos to Hallmark for being so forthright with their carnal pleasures. The first is the hall-of-famer “Let’s Get It On,” named after the Marvin Gaye sex anthem, confirming that this gingerbread man and glass of milk will unquestionably fuck in the very near future. Pity the poor squirrel, who sits alone, with no partner in sight. It appears that whatever gift he thought he had received doesn’t contain the pornography or sex toys he was hoping for. Still, he’s going to soldier through, because Hallmark has named this ornament “Nuttin for Christmas.”

Happy Holidays? I guess?

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